


Hate Me (I Wouldn't Blame You)

by orphan_account



Category: One Piece
Genre: Angst, Canonical Character Death, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-07-29
Updated: 2016-07-29
Packaged: 2018-07-19 08:45:27
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,484
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7354003
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Law has guilt over things that he had no control over, and Luffy understands this more than his fellow pirate captain realizes.</p>
<p>(Wounds ache, and Law knows when to close his mouth, he only ignores it.)</p>
            </blockquote>





	Hate Me (I Wouldn't Blame You)

**Author's Note:**

> Unbeta'd.

"You should hate me," Law says, heart thrumming like the drums in the island behind them, hands clenched uselessly at his sides.

"I wouldn't blame you."

Luffy's intense stare doesn't waver as he stands to face his wayward ally. More importantly, he doesn't look confused. No, he looks like he already knows, already went over this almost as much as Law has. Which Law feels is a stupid assumption to make.

"Torao's being stupid," Luffy says after a minute of their staring contest, the roar of the festive island where their crews are currently exceeding multiple levels of intoxication behind them. "And that's stupid, 'cause Torao's really smart on a lot of things."

Straw Hat pouts childishly before continuing. "Just not when it comes to me."

Law feels the world stop, struggling to regain that hitch in his breathing, while his hands tighten with his Nodachi discarded at his side, leaning against his leg. It's uncomfortably pressed against him from the wooden structure of the ship.

"Whatever you say, Straw Hat." Law says, after returning to his senses. getting his paused mind to play again. His nodachi is a promise against him, like the bountiful amount of booze waiting for his night back at the party currently raging.

The surgeon wonders if it's still there, considering both crews -Nami and Zoro included- are making it a personal mission to drain the island of their Booze Stash. He figures not. Maybe he can find some booze aboard the Submarine's Pantry...

There's a hand on his wrist, between skin and trench coat when he tries to turn and walk away from Straw Hat, and the unwelcome feelings Straw Hat brings with his overwhelming presence.

"Torao doesn't get to leave this time." Luffy says in finality. Law can see how the hand on his wrist tightens, shakes even, in pent-up anger.

The surgeon swallows, hands clenching while his jaw locks.

_Of course Straw Hat wouldn't let him leave._

Law ducks his head, hoping, dreading, that the swordsman comes and kicks his ass for all the smart ass remarks he's made in his slightly drunken stupor before Straw Hat can speak again. Only if Zoro doesn't get lost. An impossible hope and dream all star-crossed more than the hope that Straw Hat may have feelings other than 'friend' for him.

"I'm sorry." Law says after another silence falls over them, with Straw Hat's cold hand on his warm skin. He ducks his head ducked, his eyes closed. And maybe he's shaking too.

"For what?" Luffy asks, sounding perplexed, his head probably tilted in that way he does that makes Law's stomach lurch uncomfortably.

"For saving you."

Luffy blinks, a confused frown on his face. Of course Straw Hat wouldn't understand. Law knows his clenched fist are shaking now, can feel them against his sides like an uneven tremble on a sturdy ground.

"I'm not mad that you saved me." Luffy responds quietly, his head ducked and fists clenched at his sides in an eerily similar manner.

Law feels his breath hitch again, a mixture of anger at himself for making Straw Hat look like this, and satisfaction too, for rendering Straw Hat quiet, for affecting him in this way.

Straw Hat's eyes are dark, Law notes, dark and shining in the moonlight as his eyes find his own. Luffy has that intensity in his eyes again, like Law is the most important thing in his World right now.

"I'm happy Torao saved me," Luffy explains simply, eyes serious with the affect not dimmed by the pout settling on his lips.

"'Cause if he didn't, I wouldn't be alive," Luffy says sheepishly, "I got to see my crew again, 'n meet him again!" his smile dims to a small twitch of lips, hands picking at the ends of his shorts almost nervously (but Straw Hat couldn't be nervous over him, right?).

"Even if it wasn't a happy time. And I don't hate him, for saving me 'n not Ace, 'cause Traffy would've saved Ace if he could."

Law swallows, hating how Straw Hat's eyes aren't gleaming like usual, noting that it's his fault. He vaguely recognizes the tumbling, mind sickening thing within himself.

Iit's guilt.

It's a lurching illness he can't swallow down, though Law tries, hands clenching with his throat dry in a way that if he speaks, he knows that a few words will crack.

"Oh yeah," Law says, spits even, watching Straw Hat's eyes come up from staring at the deck, "what if I could have saved Portgas-ya, what if I only needed to save _you_?"

Straw Hat's face is suddenly closer, Law's knuckles are white, the red fabric of Straw Hat's vest clutched greedily between his tattooed fingers.

"What if I knew there was a possibility, Straw Hat? And I saved you because I knew you were going to be useful to me?"

Law wants to take it back, but he also doesn't, watching Straw Hat's eyes that have grown larger through his rant. Ace was dead when he got there, but maybe, if he tried to also get him...

The outcome wouldn't be different, other than if Straw Hat died in the process of getting his older brother aboard.

(Straw Hat did die, but he woke back up. What if he didn't?)

Straw Hat's quiet, his arms dangling at his sides uselessly, his eyes indecipherable. Law's quiet too, his fists shaking, threatening to tear Straw Hat's vest, with his jaw clenched to the point he can feel teeth on teeth grinding back in forth unsteadily.

Something slams into his face, his golden eyes seeing the sky rush by while he tries to gather his steps. It's Straw Hat's fist, evident by the bruise Law already feels staining his cheek, making the flesh there tender and ache. When he looks up, Luffy's fist is shaking by his side, his whole body trembling before he looks down at his fist, then at Law with wide, disbelieving eyes.

Law himself raises up on trembling arms from years of controlling panic, his eyes wide. He didn't expect it. He should have. His fingers go to his chin, seeing blood splat against the wood of the deck. Red settles onto his fingertips in answering, as Straw Hat apologizes and stutters.

"- 'm sorry Torao! You just- 'n Ace!"

Law holds up a hand, careful to keep his red stained fingertips from Straw Hat's sight, keeps his head ducked away to keep the blood and bruise from him. He doesn't want Straw Hat to feel guilty for something he's deserved for two years, probably longer than that. As if everything's he's ever done wrong has exacted their revenge in the form of Straw Hat's fist.

"It's okay, Straw Hat."

Straw Hat stops, no sound from behind Law, other than the stare glued to him. He assess the damage, determining no stitches are required to treat his minor injury. Though, it being Straw Hat's upper-cut, it feels as though he was slammed into an iron wall.

"What does Torao mean, 'it's okay'?" Straw Hat asks quietly, but it doesn't feel like he's asking, it feels like a scolding.

Law glances back in the corner of his eye, seeing Straw Hat's fist tremble against his side. He's angry; it doesn't take a genius to read Straw Hat's body language.

"I'm sorry."

"Stop saying that."

Law's eyes widen, feeling fingers ghost against the newly-formed bruise against his cheek. He didn't expect Straw Hat to move towards him, only expected Straw Hat to tremble angrily with barely concealed anger before marching away. But Straw Hat's unpredictable.

Luffy's squatted, mouth in a frown, eyes staring intently at the mark he left on Law's cheek. "M'sorry." He mumbles, finger tracing Law's lips absently, and he is. Law knows he is. He shouldn't be.

Law moves away from the touch, eyes looking off to the side as he addresses his ally, "It's okay."

"You couldn't save Ace." Luffy says, eyes avoiding Law's own, in favor of staring at his ally's lips. Law doesn't say anything, in favor of staring at Luffy's eyes, which refuse to meet his own, finger trailing over Law's lips as he speaks.

"Nobody could save Ace," Straw Hat admits, like it's a secret he's kept from everyone, including himself, for the last two years.

Law answers this time. "I know." He closes his eyes, feeling the tips of Luffy's fingertips smoothing against his lips.

It's quiet again.

A few of their crew mates voices echo down from the island, with crickets and frogs filling in the gapes of silence.

"I'm sorry." Luffy apologizes, quieter than before.

"I am too." Law replies, before lips brush against his, effectively stealing his breath from his lungs. He leans into it, tilting his head, one hand tangling in the neck of Luffy's red vest, the other in Luffy's dark and messy hair.

It's not okay, but it's better.


End file.
